Heilig
by face-catcher
Summary: Ludwig Beilschmidt's life has always had order, rhyme, and reason but... this... Italian... comes in and, just... turns his world upside-down... and Ludwig can't decide... whether or not... it's really, such... a bad thing...
1. Chapter 1

**In case you didn't know:  
Ludwig=Germany (Doitsu)  
_Großvater_/grandfather= Germania  
Gilbert=Prussia  
Antonio=Spain  
Franny/Francis= France  
Hetalia= I don't own**

* * *

"Ludwig!" Looking up from his book, Ludwig gazed at his aging grandfather.

"_Ja Großvater_?" his grandfather rarely bothered him in the middle of the day like this.

"I want you to go check on your brother for me." Gilbert? Great what had his brother gotten into this time?

"Where is he now?" it couldn't be that faraway... could it?

"Venice, Italy." that'll be a sixteen hour train ride then... "He sent this." another letter from _bruder_... "Turns out that Spanish friend of his had an episode and, well, you know Gilbert..." Antonio...?

"Fine. I'll get packing." maybe he'd be able to finish his book on the train...

_Gott verdammt, Gilbert _why must the younger always be responsible for the elder...

* * *

No matter how much grandfather complained about the 'technology of the future' it sure was helpful when Ludwig stepped off the train in central Italy and realized he had no idea where his brother was.

"Gilbert, it's me, I'm in Venice now, where are you?"

"Ludwig...? What the hell are you doing here! Where's the old man?" just answer the question...

"It's partially your fault, you're the one who sent that letter, we know you a little better than you think we do. Grandfather sent me to make sure you don't do something stupid. Now, where are you?" Ludwig was quickly loosing patience with his elder brother...

...

Two hours and forty-five minutes later of arguing and yelling at one another over the phone, Ludwig finally found his brother.

"Gilbert... this doesn't look like a very safe house to live in..." it must have been well over thirty years with no kind of yearly care... and was it just him, or did he smell mold...

"But it's cheap!" yes, until we get the hospitable bill from when the roof falls in on you...

"How's Antonio?" that was part of the reason he was here after all...

Gilbert's face fell. "He's been out for a long time..." a desperate attempt to cover up his dispar. "But he'll be fine, it would be totally unawesome if he died, and Toni's to awesome for heaven anyway!" oh Gilbert...

"Yeah, I'm sure he'll be fine..."

Well... this is awkward...

"Why don't you come sit down with me and Franny? Have some coffee!" well, his trip had been a long one...

"Okay... and Gilbert?"

"_Ja_?"

"I missed you."

Spazzy, annoying, headache that he is...

'_You're still my big brother..._'

* * *

Okay... Ludwig will admit that maybe... this wasn't the best idea...

His older brother was a headache by himself, add one of his equally annoying friends...

And, of course... the only... awake... member in the house had to be Francis... damn French pervert... couldn't keep his wondering hands to himself...

But, Ludwig could stay calm... he could... it... it just took a lot of effort...

His brother had thrown himself into the chair next to Ludwig while Francis took the wall, leaning against it with his arms folded across his chest.

Gilbert and Francis talked about anything and everything... except, of course, Antonio.

Ludwig decided to just... stay very quiet and still... maybe they wouldn't try to drag him into their... inappropriate... conversation...

'_Not that much longer... Antonio'll be up any minute now... check up on him, lecture Gilbert, go back home... you can do it._'

"Antonio!" Gilbert's cry brought Ludwig, quite forcibly out of his inner pep-talk.

Seeing the Spaniard leaning against the door frame forced Ludwig to his feet as his brother and French friend rushed up to their third... Gilbert had always been a good friend...

Ludwig stayed at the table, not even trying to make heads or tails of the three-way conversation taking place... it would just worsen his headache.

"Toni! You remember my little _bruder _Ludwig, right." the cloudy, confused look in the Spaniards green eyes cleared and Ludwig almost suggested they take him to a doctor to make sure he didn't have a concussion...

"Little Ludwig? No way, he's too big!" no, never mind, he's fine... great, now there's three of them...

"I know, he's growing faster than a fucking weed!" Gilbert! _Gott_, his brother never grew up. Ludwig felt his face grow red as he rolled his eyes. "Apparently _Großvater_ sent him here because neither of them think I can take care of myself!" that would be because you can't...

"Your granddad isn't pushing up daisies yet?" Ludwig wouldn't be _here_ if his Grandfather was dead... neither would Gilbert... despite how much he complained about their father's father...

"Hey! He's a German, through and through! He ain't kicking the bucket that easy!" Oh boy... Ludwig could feel another headache coming on...

"_Bruder_..." Ludwig sighed, when would his older brother learn?

Ludwig was about to reprimand his brother for his inability to just grow up but was cut off...

Heavy pounding, and a broken sob, frantic, exhausted...

Ludwig felt his insides rolling... this wasn't going to end well...

* * *

Francis was leaning against the door frame that separated the kitchen from the hallway that led to the front door so, he pushed himself off the wall and disappeared around the corner and Ludwig felt sick.

Just staring at where Francis had been, Ludwig heard the door creak open and some utterance in French that he wouldn't even pretend he know how to translate... and a call for his brother.

Trying to calm himself, Ludwig breathed deeply, and glanced nervously at Antonio who sat across the table from him.

Ludwig could just make out the muffled demand to know what was going on-

...

Gilbert liked to swear... it was just in his nature... but Ludwig had never heard his brother utter such a long string of curses... and so softly...

Ludwig could hear a voice whimpering... almost dog-like... and slowly rise in intensity, and quickly becoming hysterical.

Okay, enough tension.

Pushing himself off his own chair and politely excusing himself, Ludwig moved towards the door where he could figure out just what was happening, really, if these two couldn't handle answering the door-

No way...

Fuck!

* * *

**A/N: Dostiu fic! this was so much more work than I thought it was gonna be...**

**I started writing, like, five times, deleted all of them... some scenes took three takes and it was just all around a long day... this took me _hours_...**

**But: its finished! 2013 July 3rd, to be posted 2013 July 4th Happy B-Day 'merica! **

**I hope y'all enjoy reading this. I love Germany but I never thought he'd be so hard to write ^^; **

**Show some love for my effort so I know it ain't all in vain and I hope y'all have an awesome America day**

_**Ja ne **_**(see you)**


	2. Chapter 2

**In case you didn't know:  
Italian/Feli= N. Italy  
Hetalia= I don't own**

* * *

What. The. Fuck! Ludwig found himself captured by the big, tear-filled, brown eyes of the little boy who gazed up at him in horror as Ludwig found himself frozen in the doorway, flabbergasted.

His eyes narrowed as he scanned the child who had stumbled back, one hand had moved behind him to help support his weight, the other had moved to cover his face defensively as he whimpered and cried his way through stuttered, uncompleted Italian that Ludwig couldn't have been able to begin to translate.

"English?" Ludwig asked tentatively, softly as he lowered himself down to the child's height, it worked for dogs but would the same approach on some random boy on the ground?

"_S_-_s_-_si_... yes, yes I-I do." comforted by Ludwig's lowered, less threatening position and the prospect of communication, the boy's arm moved down a touch from its defensive position but not by much, the back on his hand hovering over the lower half of his face. "_Per_- please!" he reminded Ludwig of a very cold, very frightened small dog the way he trembled and flinched. "My _fratello_, my _frate_- brother he, he, I can't!" the plea stammered its way past trembling lips in alternating Italian and English, skipping and breaking off like a scratched record

"I don't understand, you're not making any sense." the Italian's eye's widened and he came up, shifting his weight away from Ludwig and onto the balls of his feet as he extended one hand towards him. "My brother!" he sobbed out, desperately trying to make Ludwig understand as he sobbed hysterically.

Extending one of his own hands, Ludwig offered the frightened Italian his empty palm. "We'll help you and your brother, come here." calm, slow, as unthreatening as possible.

"No!" his entire body seized up as he scrambled, pushing himself upright and taking several, unsteady steps back. Ludwig stayed exactly where he was.

"It's okay." Pushing himself, very slowly, up, Ludwig continued to offer his empty hand as he tried to keep his body language calm and confident. "It's okay to be afraid," Ludwig chanced a step forward, the Italian didn't move. "It's okay to be unsure," another step. "It's a good thing, actually." Ludwig stopped when he found himself arms length from the child-no, teen, he didn't seem all that much younger than Ludwig...

"But I want to help you." another offering. "And I can't if you don't trust me." the Italian gave another, louder sob and fell against Ludwig's chest, wrapping thin arms around the red-faced German's torso.

"Please!" he cried, and Ludwig wrapped his arms around the small body of the Italian as his shaking knees gave out, lifting the exhausted boy into his arms and turning to face his brother and Francis.

"Let's, uh, let's get him inside." he suggested, blushing as he averted his eyes, unable to even glance at his older brother.

"Please don't hurt me." the watery beg from the Italian in his arms hurt Ludwig but he understood, this boy did not trust him, he felt that he was risking his life by giving in, all to protect his brother...

"Never." no more words were needed as Ludwig crossed the threshold and prayed to a God he had never believed in that he would not break this promise.

Praying was only a kind of comfort that some reverted to in order to relive the weight they carry, Ludwig knew that, knew that only with careful planning, rational decisions, and non-impulsive actions would he fulfill his oath.

But praying was still a comfort.

* * *

Francis and Gilbert helped Ludwig into the house and someone pulled a chair out for the heavily sobbing Italian who had pressed his face against the German's neck.

Sitting him down, Ludwig crouched in front of him and took both of the Italian's hands into his own and brushed thick thumbs over shaking, jumpy hands, looking up and trying to establish proper eye contact with the Italian teen's sweet, soft eyes that looked at everything but the people around him.

Freeing one hand, Ludwig slipped a finger under the other's chin, tilting the head towards him and forcing the teen to look at him, the eye contact held through the terror and tears, Ludwig offered a small, soft smile.

"Now," he sighed out softly, trying to keep the smaller boy calm as he cupped his cheek with one hand and squeezed the hands he held captive in the other. "Tell me what's got you so frightened." '_Softly, Ludwig, oh so softly...'_ the jumpy teen still flinched as violently as if Ludwig had threatened him at gunpoint and the German's heart fell into his stomach and twisted as the smaller gave a frightened cry.

Following the sobbing teen's desperate scramble to get back without falling off the chair Ludwig struggled to quiet his hysterics, surprised that the Italian never attempted to break eye contact.

"I want to help you..." Ludwig whispered, hoping it would work a second time, but the Italian gave another, desperate cry of firm denial. "NO!" and it hurt, to know just how terrified this small, dainty teen was of him...

"Yes..." the word was barely breathed out but the Italian picked it up, Ludwig knew. "I do, but I can't if I don't know the problem..." would he be able to work his way through the terror and understand reason? Ludwig doubted it, but still brushed his thumb back and forth across the Italian's cheek bone in an attempt to comfort him. '_I really wish I was better at this..._' and tried again. "What is it that you are looking for..." another, broken, hysterical, sob. "Let me help you." '_Please..._'.

Releasing any remaining hold on strength, he gave in to sobs and tears, bending at the waist and wrapping his arms around himself in a desperate attempt to hold himself together. Ludwig cupped both of the Italian's cheeks in a loosing battle to dry the tears that streamed out of the red, swollen eyes.

"He..." the teen began, and Ludwig was shocked, having completely believed that once he broke down they wouldn't get anything from him. '_just a little while longer..._' he promised silently. '_Be strong for a little while longer. It'll stop, I promise..._'

"He lives here, he came in the night and my brother didn't shoot him... he has to help me... he has to help us!" deciphering the words from the long, run-on string that spilled out of trembling lips, Ludwig hated himself for it, but continued to pry.

"I need more than that..." how could he continue to pry? How could he force further suffering onto an already broken boy no older than himself? "Who is 'he'? What does he look like?" why did it have to be 'him' could Ludwig really do nothing?

The Italian's head jerked up and stared, panicked at someone behind Ludwig and gave the most horrifying sound Ludwig had ever heard and forced himself not to cover his ears and beg his big brother to make it stop...

"You!" wait... what? Pushing past Ludwig, the Italian rushed up to Antonio who had been standing behind Ludwig with a glass of, what he assumed to be, water, clinging frantically to the front of the surprised Spaniard's shirt.

"Feli!?" Wait... wait... now just wait a minute... what...? Did Antonio...?

"You have to help me! You have to help him!" why Antonio? None of this is making any sense...

"Take me to him! Now!" Antonio demanded, dropping the glass to grab "Feli"s hands.

'_Fuck this, I'm going with them._'

Ludwig was going to do something.

End of story.

* * *

**Not, as in, like, the story is done but, more like, end of conversation ^^;**

**Well, that chapter was a shit-load easier to write then the last one =_=**

**I recently discovered that my timing for both Heilig and Salvatore sucked and now I'm off by, about, a chapter so I might end up pausing updates for my other HH stories and focus on catching the newbies up to speed but it, hopefully, won't take me too long and I'll get back on track.**

**Anyway, till then...**

_**Ja ne**_** (****see you)**


	3. Chapter 3

**In case you didn't know:  
Hetalia= I don't own**

* * *

Following the strange Italian as he drug Antonio along behind him, Ludwig, Gilbert, and Francis found themselves pushing their way through some kind of Italian street market, unable to see over the heads of so many people.

Ludwig watched Antonio duck down and around the last clump of people to the center of the madness and neither one of them could be seen any longer.

But he heard Feli's high-pitched, frightened cry, able to pick it out, easily pairing his voice to his face, he knew it was him and didn't know why, but, it made his stomach twist inexplicably.

Ludwig felt his blood boil, his thoughts went fuzzy, and he moved without even realizing what he was doing. He watched himself shove and push and yell his way through the crowd and locate the small, frightened little Italian boy who wasn't really all that much of a boy.

Ludwig didn't, couldn't see or hear or feel anything but the Italian he held in his sights, he felt blind and, yet, he found he didn't mind it, he didn't even notice.

Feli darted forward, towards... something, but Ludwig didn't care about that right now, he didn't care what was so important and didn't even truly remember why they were even here, all he cared about was that something, someone, grabbed him, restrained him, and when the Italian turned his head, Ludwig saw the fear, saw the desperation, the betrayal, the shame that drowned in deep, wet eyes.

Blinking away the darkness that surrounded him, threatened to overtake him, Ludwig stepped forward and pulled Feli away from Antonio and into his arms, pressing the smaller, softer body into his chest and holding him there through the sudden rejection of contact and the sound that started to form in his throat, it died down soon enough, and Ludwig pulled Feli back.

"Please, please, _per favore dio no_, God do not take my brother, bestow unto me his sins, throw me into the fires of hell, let me take my brother's place, but do not condemn him..." the prayer drifted off into Italian and Ludwig felt disbelief and inexplicable hatred and anger boil in his veins and twist his heart.

"No." Ludwig spoke sharply and firmly, pushing Feli away from his so he could hold the smaller man at arm's length. "Your brother is going to be fine, you are going to be fine, neither of you will _ever_ go to hell. Ever. I promise." Tears continued to stream down the Italians face and Ludwig trailed his hands up Feli's arms to cup damp, filthy cheeks and brush his thumbs back and forth across the others skin.

"Oh, God!" clinging almost violently to Ludwig's torso, the little Italian pressed his face into the German's neck, clutching desperately to the front of his shirt.

Exhaling a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding, Ludwig very, very slowly, wrapped his arms around the small of the Italian's back and finally rose his gaze to his surroundings, trying to locate Antonio in the mass of people.

'_There!_' straightening himself up, the Spaniard clutched who, Ludwig assumed to be, Feli's brother, his brother and Francis were talking with the officers and Ludwig managed to gather that they were leaving.

'_How am I going to get him off of me to walk...?_' and, as if reading his thoughts, the Italian clung to him with renewed vigor. '_Alright... alright, okay._' shifting his hold on Feli, Ludwig carefully lifted the smaller man up, wondering vaguely if the Italian would help... somehow.

As Ludwig shifted his hold to lift the Italian, Feli moved as well, moving his hands from Ludwig's torso up, around his neck, and wrapped his legs around the German's waist.

'_He's like a toddler..._' Ludwig mused as Feli laid his head against the German's shoulder, hiding his face in the others shirt and Ludwig couldn't help himself from tightening his arms around the Italian.

'_Keep him safe..._' Ludwig rolled his eyes up, to the clouds, the blue sky... and further, beyond...? '_Don't make me a liar..._'

* * *

Carrying the Italian home was easy enough, the small male weighing much less than he should have, the door itself however was a different feat.

'_Okay, there's no way I'm going to be able to unlock this stupid thing with _him _clinging to me..._'

"I'm going to have to put you down..." Feli clung to him, his body tensing as if afraid Ludwig would forget he was there if he just didn't breathe... "Feli..."

'_This isn't going to work..._' trying a new approach, Ludwig pressed his mouth against the Italian's ear, the blood rushing up to his face in a heated blush. "I will not leave you all alone, I will not make you hold yourself up. Your brother cannot stay out here, he needs to sleep, and I cannot open the door if you are clinging to me like this."

Feli didn't move '_At least he's breathing again..._' "My brother once told me 'In the face of danger, there are only two people, those who are weak and those who are strong. Strength, however, does not lie in ones abilities...'" Pulling back, Ludwig lost himself in deep, soulful caramel eyes. "'Strength lies in your ability to be strong when those stronger than you, and those you love, are weak.' You must be strong Feli, your brother is weak, he needs you as you have needed him."

Slowly, very, very slowly, confusion gave way to understanding and determination shone in soft eyes, Feli unraveled his legs from Ludwig's waist, his feet touching the ground, he did not release the German completely, but now, Ludwig had full use of his arms and successfully opened the door, grunting an affirmatively to Antonio as Feli jumped back on him, whimpering pitifully that he was not strong and he never would be.

Choosing to ignore that, for now, Ludwig turned away from Antonio, not wanting the Spaniard to see his expression. "Perhaps we should wait for Gilbert and Francis inside, get him down on a bed." nodding at the Italian that Antonio cradled.

Nodding, Ludwig saw the emotions dancing in his eyes. "Antonio..." the Spaniard froze but did not turn to face him, Ludwig was glad. "We'll make this work, everything will work out, I'm sure."

Feli whimpered and Ludwig tightened his hold, yes... this will work... '_It has to..._'

If only for him...

* * *

**Well... that's a thing... I really have nothing to say right now... um... yeah, Imma just shut up now and keep working**


End file.
